-the ever-cynical uber-fangirl-


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20 most recent entries
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send me a file


the animal rescue site


alter ego.


king of the night time world.

in the garden.

the morning after.

the hindu times.

girls lie.

road trip.

lab rat.

past time i'd say.

-September 28, 2009 - 11:22 am-

Here's what I've been doing lately, for anyone who's been wondering:

Gwyn, lvl 30 Spirit Master.
Aion, Azphel server (Elyos), PlanB legion.
I also have a Ranger named Rhianu, need to get her lvld, and take some SS.


More SS behind the cutCollapse )

Yes, I'm well aware of the resemblence to Barbie. It's completely on purpose, cause in reality she's f'ing scary in PvP, but guys are so predictible and get distracted by the black lace and garter belt. So she looks all tiny and gorgeous, so small I can stand inside my pets. Then I'm attacking you, and it's *instapwn*.  xD
I've outlvld this gear by like 8 lvls, but it's so ridiculously gorgeous I dont want to replace it. I need to get some upgrades, and reskin them with this, but I'm lazy. SMs aren't all that gear dependant anyway, so I can get away with it for a while longer.

mood - accomplished
3 where we are || tell me
-August 17, 2008 - 6:40 pm-

Fay who?

Apparently I need to get my head out of my rear end more often, because I just found out I'm going to get a flyover from a Tropical Storm by the name of Fay, tomorrow. 

The interesting part being that from the projection I just saw, it'll be going right up the Florida coast following I75. Which is the same route I'm taking for D*C. So I should ask her to let me know which drive-though makes the best cheeseburgers along the way...

Although, on a more serious note. I hope it's quick and weak, otherwise everyone will be flooded from here all the way to Atlanta, and there might not be  time for it to dry out properly before D*C.

mood - annoyed
tell me
-August 7, 2008 - 12:43 pm-

Oddities, and other news...

So, I noticed today that I appear to have an odd lump on my left shoulder. Further examination (ie: I started poking at it...) revealed that it is a bony protrusion of some kind. It's right where the muscle of my arm attaches to my joint, as if a lump is forming at, or near-to, the joint.
If that sounds at all familiar, then you've probably heard about the tumor I've had on my right ring finger for years now. Benign, thank god. It's called an aneurysmal bone cyst. As far as I'm aware, the one on my finger arose due to trauma. I punched a jerk at a bar, and got a hairline fracture that didn't heal properly, and the ABC formed at the point of injury. It's in the third stage of development, and one of these days I'll have to go in for surgery to have it removed. Since I'm mostly right-handed, and I probably won't have the use of the hand for a couple months afterward, I just keep putting it off.
If this thing on my shoulder is an ABC, then I have no idea where it came from. I haven't had any pain, or injured it. I'm going to have to have x-rays whenever I can find the time, just to determine if it is the same thing. If it's not, and I have no idea what else it could be, I have no idea what's going to happen.

In other news, I'm down to #140 by my scale, from my original starting point of #152 at the beginning of May. I would really like to lose a good bit more than that before I go out and buy the new clothes I already need, but I may not have time. I need clothes to wear in Atlanta, because nothing I haven't bought recently (a shirt here and there, mostly) fits me at all, anymore. I don't want to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe for the trip, then lose even more weight when I get home and wind up having to do it all over again in a few more months.

I hit a three-week plateau when I got to #148, and it wasn't until I started actually making an effort to exercise that I started losing again. There's really only so much that a healthy diet can do once you get closer to your body's preferred weight. So I adjusted the diet slightly, then started doing some kind of physical activity daily. Usually a bike-ride every night, but (barring one hair-raising ride in a sudden thunderstorm that left me soaking wet while panting with fear AND activity) if it rains I'll even dance around my bedroom for an hour instead. I need to find where I put my hand weights, because my legs are getting plenty of work, but my arms are looking a little flabby.

I literally have my entire month planned out, almost to the minute, in prep for D*C. With all the doctors appointments for mom and gran, I needed to schedule the stuff I have to get done before the trip, or something wouldn't get finished. I'm putting off clothes shopping to the weekend before the trip, because of the weight thing. 
I'm also getting my hair cut, and coloring it the Thursday before. Because I am determined to go blonde again. I'm always blonde when I travel, and this will be no exception, even if I let it go again when I get back. Luckily I'm experienced with bleaching and highlighting my own hair, so it should be fine, and cheaper than getting it done at the salon. Last time I did that to the degree that I'm going to do it this time it cost me more than $200. All my hair is virgin at the moment, so I don't have to worry about damaging it trying to strip out other color. I'm going to get it cut shorter, too. I like it better short, and it's started to get long again, because apparently a healthy diet makes my hair go crazy and start growing faster than normal. I swear I was having to trim my bangs once a week to keep them out of my eyes, until I gave up and got out the barrettes. I'm going to go for an only slightly longer version of this style Allison Mack had for a while. If I flip the ends out I can say I'm cosplaying Chloe at the con, and not even have to get an actual costume, since I tend to dress like her anyway. lol

I'm still driving up, although I'm starting to think that my 2/3 formed decision to do it on my own was a bad one. I am a chain-smoker when driving, so I thought it was better than forcing someone to sit in my fog of smoke for 7 hours, but it's still 7 hours alone in a car. I've driven that long alone before, so I know i can do it, but it was much more fun when I had company on the way home. I wonder if it's too late to find a driving buddy in the general area, who won't mind the smoke...
I also desperately need to get my AC fixed, and detail the car. It's a mess, and at the moment I don't even like to leave the house before sundown because it's too damn hot driving around without AC. There is no way I'll be driving 7 hours trough most of the day, in heat like that, so it's got to be done. Luckily I have free reign over the Sears card, and they have an automotive department that does ACs.

mood - okay
tell me
-July 3, 2008 - 12:24 pm-

I cannot even...

So... I'm cleaning out my closet. I'm planning a yard sale to fundraise for D*C, and I have tons of stuff I'll never wear again. Or at least, I used to think I'd never wear them again. Until I decided to try on a pair of my old jeans on a lark... Just to see how far I still have to go.

The last pair of jeans I bought that fit me properly were size 13. I bought the size 11 pair I mentioned previously, because they were tight, and I wanted to diet into them. I think I've more than managed that, at this point. I can pull the damn things off without undoing the button. But I had no idea...

I'm sitting at my computer, right this very moment, comfortably wearing a pair of size 7 jeans. I haven't worn these jeans in at least 6 years. Now, granted, they're a little tight around the waist. I'll even go so far as to say I've got a bit of a muffin-top going on, so I wouldn't actually wear them in public, yet. But they go right on, button easily, and I can breathe in them. The fit on my butt, hips, and legs is as perfect as any pair of jeans I've ever worn.
I know part of it is that these jeans are basically molded to fit my shape, but still. A year ago, I would have said that I'd never manage to fit into these jeans, again.

The funny thing is, I haven't lost any weight in the last 2 weeks. I've hit a plateau, apparently. Or I've done all I can by changing my diet, alone. I need to buckle down and start exercizing more often, if I want to lose any more weight this summer.

But little things like this..? Fitting into the jeans I wore at the point where I was the happiest with my body that I've ever been..? THAT is a huge incentive to work harder.

mood - ecstatic
3 where we are || tell me
-June 10, 2008 - 10:24 am-

dieting wtf

So, I can recall mentioning a couple posts ago that I was going on a diet. I'd spent several years not giving a crap about anything, and my eating habits suffered badly. I was only eating once a day, in the middle of the afternoon, because that's the only time I got hungry. Probably because I'd have a huge cup of coffee with tons of sugar as soon as I got up, and it kept my blood sugar up.

Considering my past issues with spontaneous hypoglycemia, and the family diabetes problem (in that literally every member of my family on both sides has either type 1 or type 2 diabetes...) that was never going to be a good idea. Luckily, for whatever reason, it never became an issue with anything other than my weight. I did gain, but then I pretty much leveled out. My blood sugar has stayed relatively stable (and NORMAL) for the last few years, despite my crazy habits.
I made it a point to do random, and fasting checks recently (since going on the diet), and my blood sugar is perfect. I'm not even close to edging into dangerous territory, in either direction. So at least I haven't done any serious damage in that direction, at this point.

My top weight, which I stayed at for at least a year, probably more but I wasn't keeping track, was 173 pounds.

That's the weight I was at exactly this time last year. I'm 5'7 1/2" tall, barefoot. In other words, I was a minimum of 40 pounds overweight. At around 130# I tend to look perfectly normal. I could deal with being a bit less. 120-125 would be acting weight, considering the 10 pounds a camera ads, but I can also live without worrying about it.
That being said, I'm aiming for that magic 125#s, because I know I wont mind if I don't exactly hit it.

I've already talked about everything that happened with my mother, so the only bearing it has on this is the fact that I was quite surprised at the end of January, when on a whim I decided to step on the scale in her Doctor's office, and it told me I'd lost about 12 pounds. Somehow, without doing anything special, I'd managed to get down to 161#s. I hadn't changed my eating habits, but I had been working my ass off (apparently, literally) taking care of her since she got out of the hospital. I was pleased, but didn't think much about it, assuming that I'd gain it back eventually, once she was better.

Imagine my surprise when I didn't. In fact, I stayed completely stable at that weight for three more months, despite my continued horrible eating habits, and not actually exercising.

As May approached, with my 30th birthday looming on the horizon, I started thinking about the fact that I basically spent my late twenties being miserable. I still don't look 30. It's like my face has frozen in time at the age of 25 or so, and that's being generous. With my freckles, and pale skin, I look much younger if I'm not wearing make-up.
I can't really take any credit for that. It's completely genetic. My grandmother was 50, but looked like she was in her late 30s when I was born. My mother only looks her age because she went grey early. Her face still doesn't look 55, even with her illness.

So, I started to realize that part of my depression was coming from the fact that I absolutely hated the way I looked. I fully admit to being vain. I like having nice hair, wearing make-up, and feeling confident that I've done my best to look attractive. I still consider myself an actress. Vanity just comes with the territory. I may not have made any effort in that direction for years, but I have no intention of ever giving it up completely. I WILL get back to it, when I can.
Part of all that is being proud of my body. Not that I've ever really been proud of my body, but I was at least content with it at certain points in my life.

The problem is, I spent the entire, miserable, latter half of my twenties being overweight, not giving a shit about my hair, not wearing make-up, and not caring about how I dressed. I just gave up on everything about how I looked. I didn't even get a haircut, or wear make-up for at least three years.

That is just not me. Seriously. I used to be a bottle blonde, and haunt the Sephora website. I considered throwing a party when they opened a branch in the mall here.

Granted I had reasons. I don't have money of my own. Anything I spent on that kind of thing would have had to come from my Gran, and I didn't want to spend her money on what I assumed at the time were frivolous things. So, I didn't.
The problem with that, is that it made me far more miserable than I should have been. Feeling like I should be ashamed to be seen in public contributed to the depression and anxiety that I've been battling this entire time.

So, I decided to do something about it, in the hopes that making a few changes might help. I already felt like needing to take care of both Mom and Gran was helping give me a reason to fight the depression. Didn't help with the anxiety, obviously, but at least I didn't feel like I wanted to spend all day in bed tossing and turning.
Think about that. My main anxiety symptom is my insomnia, but my depression made me never want to do anything other than stay in bed. Even my mental problems were at cross-purposes, for god's sake.

So, May came around, and I went out and got a haircut. I have good taste in hair, even if I can't style it for crap normally. I have no trouble admitting that I picked a good one. My hair is adorable. AND I got the right tools to style it. So, I can do my hair (from wet to done) in 5 minutes, and have it come out perfect. That's one down.

Then I went to Walgreens, and replaced the make-up I'd thrown away. I got some anti-aging lotions and potions, because I may have happy genes, but there's no point in tempting fate. Even Gran used Oil of Olay when I was a kid. lol
I had to practice a bit, because I never said I was good at actually doing my make-up, just that I like to wear it. But, I've got that down now, too. I can shower, do my hair, and then my make-up in about 20 minutes total. Maybe a bit more if I wear my new contacts, since they're toric, and they're a pain in the ass to handle.

That's another one. I got contacts again. New glasses, too. But the contacts are a big deal because even before I got all depressed I'd completely stopped wearing them. My astigmatism got considerably worse, and I couldn't use the ones I had on the computer anymore. I spent way too much time on the computer (at work and home) to deal with it, so I just stopped wearing them. Now, I've got the (relatively) new toric lenses, and I can wear them to do whatever I want to.

As all this was going on, I also did a complete overhaul of the way I eat. I used a crutch at the beginning. Because going from eating once a day, and not being hungry despite it, and trying to get in at least three regular meals, was more than I thought I could manage. So, I got the new Slim-Fast Optima stuff. I did a meal bar in the morning when I got up, and had the shake for dinner. Keeping my "Healthy Meal" as lunch.

I also switched to mostly Splenda in my coffee, and switched to sugar-free cranberry juice and lemonade. I never drank either straight, I water them down considerably, but it was still excess sugar that I could live without.

My lunch went from being stupid easy to cook stuff like bratwurst, to brown rice dishes with lots of broccoli, and a little grilled steak; meal-style salads with ranch salad spritzer and grilled chicken; or if I'm in a real hurry a chicken and artichoke heart Lean Pocket and applesauce.

Then I added in snacks. 2% string cheese and apple slices or some baby carrots. A yogurt with a spoon full of Benefiber mixed in. I even made home-made hummus, with celery and carrots. And all this is in between meals.

Even before I started phasing out the Slim Fast (which I have. I still do the bar or shake in the morning because I am just not a breakfast person. But dinner has become brown rice sushi, or something equally healthy.), I was eating more than I'd eaten in years.

The cool part is? This is all food I enjoy. I've always preferred healthy food over crap. The only reason I didn't eat like this all the time was because it was easier to go with what everyone else ate.

That's not to say I don't like Bratwurst, french fries, or Hardees Monster burgers. I like fat and salt as much as anyone else. I just don't crave them. They were just easier than cooking for myself. I've never been a carb craver, either. I can give or take white rice and I can't stand white bread. I've been a whole wheat girl my entire life, and I PREFER brown rice.

Even sugar has never been high on my list in anything other than my grandmother's REALLY terrible coffee, and I happen to like Splenda so I don't even miss it there. Did you know they make specific flavor packs for coffee? You replace one Splenda packet with one of the flavor ones.
I recommend the Mocha. Tastes fabulous, and even works for "that time of the month" chocolate cravings.

My weirdest ever food habit was Wheatables crackers with Lorraine swiss cheese. Which, honestly, isn't as bad as pigging out on chocolate, chips, or cookies. The problem was I could eat an entire box of them. lol

The only thing that ever kept me from eating like this my entire life was the fact that I wasn't the person who bought the food, and I had to work with what I was given, or go out and buy my own. That and not wanting to spend time cooking for just myself. Well, now I do the grocery shopping. I can buy what I want to eat, and I have plenty of time on my hands to make myself whatever I want as well.

So, the moral of all the tl:dr?

I am quite literally shedding weight like water.

I started at the beginning of May, weighing 161 pounds. By my birthday on May 28th, I was down to 151#. I weighed myself again today, and I'm down to 148#. This being the day after the end of my period, I'm still retaining a bit of water, so I'm probably even a bit less.
And I haven't been exercising. I do some (ok, a little...) ab work once a day, because that's my trouble spot, and I park at the back of the lot when I have to go somewhere. That's pretty much it.
I tried biking, but I am really intolerant of heat, and it's horrible here, already. Even first thing in the morning, or after the sun goes down, it stays in the low 90s. I need to figure out something to do indoors, or find somewhere to go swimming. I just wont be able to handle the heat, otherwise.

Considering how well changing my eating habits has worked, I'm almost scared to start exercising properly. I'm right on the mark for weekly weight loss, and exercising is just going to have me losing faster, unless I add more food. Problem with that is, I am eating plenty. I still never feel hungry, but now it's because I'm eating properly, not because my metabolism is in the toilet. I could add more food, but then I'd be stuffed all the time. lol

So, I feel great. I look so much better than I have in years, and I'm getting happy again. I'm actually pleased with myself for the first time in almost longer than I can remember. I'm actually setting goals, and meeting them.

I actually feel like I can do this.

mood - accomplished
2 where we are || tell me
-June 7, 2008 - 1:05 pm-

What can Big Brown do for you?

So, today is the Belmont Stakes. It's been exactly 30 years since the last Triple Crown winner in horse-racing. I even know the name of the last one. Affirmed won the Triple Crown in 1978, the year I was born.

My mother is a rabid racing fan. She actually participates in online handicapping, and has for years. Every year that there is a possible triple-crown winner, she tells the story of watching the 1978 Preakness (the second race of the three) from her hospital bed. While in labor with me.
They run the races on Saturdays between 5-6pm Eastern. I think her water broke sometime Saturday night, but she'd been in labor for most of the day, all night, and into the next. I was finally born at 1:37 pm Eastern on Sunday, May 28th.
According to her, I did in fact watch Affirmed win the Belmont. She had just finished feeding me, and we were both watching it together. Since I was a couple of weeks old at that point, I doubt that I was actually watching, but she's my mom, so I'm not going to argue with her.

So, why should you all care about this random horse-racing trivia?
This year, it's ALMOST a sure thing that we will finally have another Triple Crown winner in horse-racing. Having watched replays of the last two races, I can say with the small amount of knowledge I've picked up from my mother that Big Brown is one of the most amazing horses I've seen in my lifetime.
It's never completely sure. Anything could, and has, happened. But in my mother's colorful words, Big Brown could probably decide to lay down and take a playful roll in the dirt in the final stretch, and probably still have enough of a lead to get back up and win it by a length or two.

That being said. I will again be watching the replay, instead of the live race. Why? Because in the last few years, racing has been ruined for me by all the breakdowns that have happened. Basically, the breakdown of Barbaro (a horse I fell in absolute love with at first sight, when he won the Florida Derby) in the Preakness nearly broke me, and Eight Belles breaking down just after coming in second in the Kentucky Derby was the official end of my ability to watch a live horse-race. I accidently missed the live running of the Derby, then purposefully didn't watch the Preakness. I waited, and watched the replay after my mother told me it was safe.

I'm tempted to watch live today, but I probably wont. The only reason I would is if my mother specifically asks me to watch with her. She wont, because she understands how I feel. I love horses. I get that from her. But I don't have the pragmatism about the actual sport of racing that she has. So, I'll rely on her to tell me I can watch before I do. We can watch the replay together.

The fact that I can watch anything with her is enough of a gift, at this point. She nearly died last fall. She's still not fully recovered, but she will recover. And today we might be able to see something together that hasn't been seen by anyone for 30 years, to the day. That's more than enough for me.

ETA: Well, it's not to be for another year. That makes it 30, and still counting.

mood - hopeful
1 where we are || tell me
-May 12, 2008 - 1:36 pm-

*is officially a geek* Hi! I'm back!

Flower Chucks! =D Flower Chucks! =D

So, yes, I'm breaking my long self-imposed journal silence to post a picture of my new shoes... Because they are the cutest freaking things I've ever seen. I literally hit *PURCHASE* the moment I set my beady little eyes on them. Luckily they were on sale. lol
Yes, I'm a geek, I've wanted a pair of Chucks since I was a teenager.

Wow, so I have edited my post here because not paying attention to the news can lead to tiny jokes being in very poor taste... Don't ask, it wasn't that funny anyway.

On other topics, I've lost 13 pounds since January. Without really trying. So, I decided to actually put in some effort and see where that takes me by the end of the summer. I've been mildly disgusted with myself for letting things get so out of hand with my weight, since the family tendency to diabetes and heart disease is rampant. I'd like to get back down to 130 or less, so I've got a bit of a ways to go, but we'll see.

Since I haven't posted in so long, there's a lot of stuff that I never really told anyone about. Since last October, I've not just been taking care of my grandmother. My mother had a seizure that lasted 5 days. No exaggeration. It was something called Status Epilepticus (sic). Basically she started seizing, and it took them 5 days to find the right meds to get her stopped again. Along the way her lungs stopped working properly, and the heart murmur she's had since she was a baby started causing problems, and she developed blood clots. She also got an early diagnosis of endometrial cancer because the blood thinners they had her on for the clots caused bleeding. She spent three weeks in ICU, another week in the regular hospital, and then just under two months in a nursing home doing physical therapy. Then the insurance sent her home, and I had to become a 24/7 home-care nurse. Which is probably how I managed to start losing weight without really trying. I was working my arse off for a while there, before she started to get well enough to mostly take care of herself, again.

The remarkable thing is, for the most part, my mother is fine. The neuro team at the hospital told me flat-out that she was a miracle. The seizure alone should have caused brain damage, and the accompanying problems were enough to kill her. At the day 4 point, they told me I needed to start preparing myself and gran for the idea that she wasn't going to make it. She not only lived, she came out completely undamaged. Other than physical weakness from having to be in a hospital bed for so long, which is fixable with physical therapy. She'll be on seizure meds for the rest of her life, and they're never going to let her drive again, because they have no idea what caused the seizure, but other than that, she's fine. I dose out her medications, handle the appointment keeping, and do all the driving, but other than that, she's back to normal.

While all this was going on, I got some help with my gran. I finally gave in and called Aging Services, and they decided that I did need some help with everything. We now have a maid who comes out once a week, and a variety of other services designed to make all our lives easier, provided for free. It's a huge load off my mind, and I feel better than I have in literally years. Part of the reason I stopped posting was that my depression got so bad that I didn't want to talk to anyone about it. Depression meds don't work for me, so when I have problems I have to find other ways to handle them, and I spent about 2 years floundering, this time.

You'd think everything that happened in the last 7 months would have made things worse, but what it actually wound up doing was jump-starting me, instead. I had a reason to get out of bed early, leave the house regularly, and I was so tired that I actually WANTED to go to sleep at the end of the day.

It knocked me right out of the depression, and made me want to interact with people again. So, I've been slowly making my way back into things on here. Commenting, but not posting, and I think I'm ready to start posting regularly again. I'm sorry to everyone for dropping off the face of the earth like I did. It had nothing to do with you guys, and everything to do with not wanting to inflict my degrading mental state on other people, if I could help it. When I get like that, I'm not good at opening up about it, so my acting talent usually lets me hide it, and this time I just couldn't manage to do that, so I hid behind silence instead.

And now that the tl;dr is out of the way, I've got a note for anyone on my flist going to DragonCon! Beizy, I'm looking in your direction... =D

I AM GOING TO DRAGON CON! When I finish this I'm going to order my membership. Apparently my mother told my grandmother that I've been wistfully talking about it, and they decided that I deserved a break, and by then they'll be able to go 5 days or so without me... So for my 30th birthday (In 16 freaking days! OMG HELP, I'm getting old! *gets out the wrinkle cream*), I get to take a trip to Atlanta in August.
I'm driving up, and I already have feelers out for carpoolers. Was that hotel-sharing invite serious, Beizy? And are you up for a chat session tonight to talk about it? I get the impression you've been before, and I need to get a realistic expenditure prognosis, so I can start saving now. You may not get this far, so I'll drop a note in your journal, too. =D

And that's it for the moment. Cute shoes, life news, issues, and DRAGON CON. That's about it. Oh, and not that I'm begging or anything, but several people in my RL read this too, so:


mood - geeky
6 where we are || tell me
-April 27, 2007 - 10:29 pm-

It's not really spam, if you know who I am, is it?


mood - busy
5 where we are || tell me
-December 29, 2006 - 2:29 am-

I couldn't resist.

I defy you! Come and kneel before Tiffani!

Which movie was this quote from?

Get your own quotes:

mood - giggly
tell me
-December 23, 2005 - 2:02 pm-

Guess what!

My car starts! All on it's own, even!

Also? Young hispanic mechanics with long curly pony-tails are remarkably cute. But then, so are friendly cean-cut (and way too young for me) salesperson types.

I really need to visit Sears more often. Apparently, they've been hiding all the cute guys in their automotive department.

ETA: You know what sucks? For once, I would actually buy the entire album this song is from, instead of downloading. Except for the fact that it's only available in Japan, and would cost me about $50, to get.

mood - cheerful
1 where we are || tell me
-November 22, 2005 - 1:56 pm-

There's just something fundamentally wrong with this picture...

I'm getting ready to go with my mother to see the new Harry Potter film. In my bedroom, I'm playing ACDC at a very high volume. Occasionally, I even break out the air guitar, and sing along. No, I'm not ashamed. They rock.

I finish my hair, go to brush my teeth, and what do I hear coming from my 50-mumble year old mother's computer?

Christina Aguilera. More specifically, Genie in a Bottle by Christina Aguilera.

Obviously my family exists in the twilight zone, or I was secretly adopted.

mood - indescribable
tell me
-November 22, 2005 - 11:36 am-

I'm glad we caught you at home...

How much do I love Veronica Mars? Obscure pop culture coming out of it's ears, I tell you... I mean, any show that can surreptitiously slip in a completely random, but absolutely fitting Rocky Horror quote always gets my vote.

mood - amused
tell me
-November 10, 2005 - 3:36 am-

who needs sleep?

oh wait... That would be me!


You know that your insomnia is bad when after 30 milligrams of Temazepam at 11:30 pm, you're still tossing and turning in bed at 3:30am. We won't even get into the fact that I can still spell the word Temazepam after having taken the maximum allowed dosage of it.

Insomnia: 1
Hardcore prescription hypnotic sleep aid: zip.

There has got to be a solution to this that doesn't require me shooting myself in the head, but I'm damned if I can find it.

ETA: There is some good news, though. My car works again. I'll need a new battery in a few months, but Angela's boyfriend had the soloution to the problem. Apparently, you can put water in a dying battery, and it'll turn to acid, thus extending the life of said battery for up to a year. Who knew?!

ETA2: And yes, my itunes DOES have a sick sense of humor. Why do you ask?

mood - annoyed
3 where we are || tell me
-October 6, 2005 - 1:27 am-

Apparently the combination of Lost and Veronica Mars has killed TWOP. See? Another reason they should never have been put on the same night, at the same time...

mood - amused
6 where we are || tell me
-October 5, 2005 - 10:08 pm-

It's official...

R.T. is going to have to write me into the show as a M.o.t.W., because he's killing me.

mood - indescribable
tell me
-September 28, 2005 - 2:25 pm-

snaggged from herowlness.

If you see this quote Veronica Mars:

Weevil: If you're looking for my trophy, it's back by Auto Shop...

Veronica: Lube job? Or, can you medal in stealing hubcaps?

Weevil: Is this 1970? Rims, baby.

Veronica: So, you got a trophy for a rim job?

Weevil: Forget it. Look, I've got some information for you.

Veronica: Finally, a Deep Throat to call my own!

Weevil: I'm not gonna touch that one...
- 1x14, Mars vs. Mars

So, yeah. I spent the summer falling head over heels for this show. I cannot WAIT for the premiere tonight. I'm so excited, in fact, that I'm breaking my LJ silence. =D
I'm not even watching Lost. I may download it at some point, but I'd actually rather watch Veronica than Dom, which is saying a LOT.

mood - excited
6 where we are || tell me
-July 19, 2005 - 6:03 pm-


After about half an hour of planning, and twenty minutes of actual work...

I now have AC in my bedroom, again.

This was prompted by the fact that I lay sweating and panting in bed last night for at least 4 hours, and never did manage to get to sleep.

If there had been sex involved in the sweating and panting, I would have been perfectly fine with it. As it was, i was so hot I couldn't even wank.

Hopefully it wont leak again. I think I have that problem fixed now, though.

mood - accomplished
tell me
-July 17, 2005 - 2:51 am-

I finished about an hour ago, and jumped online to look at other people's reactions...

Personally, I LOVED IT! LOVED it! Easily my favorite so far. She actually made me like Dumbledore again. Which I didn't think was actually possible.

I don't intend to post any clear spoilers in my main message, for people who want to avoid them on their flist. However, I WANT people to come and tell me what they thought in the comments, so don't click them unless you're already finished.

and finally:
That person has hit the nail on the head with my feelings about Snape. Almost as if she were reading the book with me. I feel so strongly about it that I almost can't believe that EVERYONE didn't read it exactly the same way.
needless to say, that link has spoilers.

mood - happy
tell me
-July 16, 2005 - 6:42 pm-

I have acquired The Book.

Please forward all messages to my service, as I will be busy at Hogwarts for the remainder of the day.

Thank you, and goodnight Chicago!

mood - giggly
tell me
-July 12, 2005 - 10:06 pm-

corona wishes, and reality show dreams...

my subconscious needs help. really. it's getting frightening at this point. if i have one more dream where i'm a 'contestant' on a reality show, i may have to consider getting counseling.

this one seems to have been a combo between the surreal life and big brother. because there were celebs, but we could be voted off.

Some old chick managed to mess up the dinner I'd been cooking, and I told her that she should have just found me, and I would have finished it myself. Which led to her going around trying to get me to be the first person voted out of the house. Saying that because i was the youngest I was the most likely to be irresponsible and we had to work together. At which point I piped up with "I'm the only person who's actually DONE anything around here since we got here this morning. I didn't see YOU cooking dinner. Just ruining it, before I could finish it."

So they all voted her off, and I got to stay another day. Only to find that all the food had disappeared, and we were out of a bunch of incidentals, like coffee filters. Which was apparently a national emergency because everyone started freaking out and wondering how they'd make coffee. I ignored everyone, pulled out a notepad, and started writing down the things we needed.

I was sitting on the floor in the living room. Notepad and pencil in hand. With an ipod on one of those speaker dealies so I could drown out the weird people freaking out over coffee. It was playing Bon Jovi (You give love a bad name). Then it switched to ACDC (you shook me all night long). Then it switched to Dream Theatre (Panic Attack). All in quick succession, like someone was fast-forwarding through my actual playlist. I'm almost tempted to believe that someone came in my bedroom and did it, because those are all on my current playlist...

It finally stopped with the Dream Theatre, and I started singing along as I continued to write my list. Then Chris Jericho walked over, sat down, and started talking about his band. For SOME reason I ignored him, and he threw a tantrum about it. So I had to appease him by asking him what his favorite candy was, and promising to get it for him.

Yeah. I know. candy. even my subconscious thinks wrestlers act like kids...

So he left and DOM came over, and started giving me suggestions for things to buy. He wanted sushi, and beer. Preferably Corona. With lots of limes. Which I had no problem adding to the list. Promising to get several cases, and mumbling something under my breath about needing one already. Which made him laugh.
Then he left and i woke up.

And really wanted a beer.

mood - giggly
tell me

-want more?-

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